bye bye, love
bye bye, happiness
hello, loneliness
i think i'm gonnaaa cry.
AND IT AIN'T NO LIE BABY BYE BYEBYE ahahaha~
faintZ. 3 weeks confinement lehhhhhh!!!! have to book in on monday le then recruits coming in on fri. sooo confined 2 weekends sobz. ok la actually got deepavali. BUT OMG I JUST REALIZED I HAVE GUARD DUTY ON DEEPAVALI faintZ x 1000. and hopefully my leave is approved so that can come back to do my session. if not gotta swap weeks all that and bahh disturbZ tranquil waters. but still water runs deep~
read more of my ToB while wasting my time away today. ughhhh reminds me e exact same frustration i felt the day before e bookout day before our taiwan trip. it's like... the next thing is so big, and we have nothing to do, and they just refuse to let us book out. foolZ. many books like tuesdays, pdl and tob advocate a certain way to live life, and teach us to aspire towards a certain peak in personality. yet all personality profile systems (mbti, big five, enneagram are e ones i know only, altho i suspect they are quite significant in this area) argue for the equal value in each of the different character types. i mean there is the 'healthy' side and the 'unhealthy' side of each type, but the core values of each type is different, and this difference is simply to be understood and accepted, rather than judged.
such a huge contradiction in paradigms.
haiz... today i received an sms saying that sunday book in 5 pm, in stark sardonic contradiction to my expectation of last ferry (and hopes of monday morning... which is obviously wishful thinking now -.-). and somehow, even with thoughts of shang suffering in taiwan, ben still having a trainee life, me having just had a wonderfully long lull, not having outfields any more and a hell lot more of admin time and freedom in camp, i still cannot fight off the flood of frustration, anger and despondency. became so snappy, irascible and heavy during dinner... despite knowing all this, i still can't control it! whyyyyyy. this high level of neuroticism. AND ITS JUST 4 HOURS EARLIER zomg. inability to deal with unexpected changes... no. inability to cope when reality shatters my rosy delusion. but trulyyyy... happiness = reality/expections =( ugh this is. inferior puppet strings. intend to read thru e enneagram report again... maybe have insights about this. but must be aware also of e dangers in relying too much on that report. cannot become defined by it. laughZ but i am fulfilling it by wat i just said... e need for indivuality~
ok la feel a little better now... more accepting of e circumstances. luckily i ran almost all my errands already. had AYD today (sat). would have liked to go again... experience once again that scene... quote from 8/7/2007:
"a voice started softly singing; soon everyone joined in, adding their voices in worship, praise and thanks. a capella, without lyrics; everyone sang together a song they knew by heart. different people from different places who have never met before, coming together, singing together, in unison. there's something so wonderful in that universality."
i intensely hope that they experienced what i did that day... that epiphanic moment of tranquility and unity. adoration.
Name: Foo Guo Zhong Melvyn
Age: 19+
Affiliations: MSHS (Pri), Rosyth, RI, RJC, SFX (LoG)
Bday: 14th Nov
Email: mel_protoss@hotmail.com
bye bye, love
bye bye, happiness
hello, loneliness
i think i'm gonnaaa cry.
AND IT AIN'T NO LIE BABY BYE BYEBYE ahahaha~
faintZ. 3 weeks confinement lehhhhhh!!!! have to book in on monday le then recruits coming in on fri. sooo confined 2 weekends sobz. ok la actually got deepavali. BUT OMG I JUST REALIZED I HAVE GUARD DUTY ON DEEPAVALI faintZ x 1000. and hopefully my leave is approved so that can come back to do my session. if not gotta swap weeks all that and bahh disturbZ tranquil waters. but still water runs deep~
read more of my ToB while wasting my time away today. ughhhh reminds me e exact same frustration i felt the day before e bookout day before our taiwan trip. it's like... the next thing is so big, and we have nothing to do, and they just refuse to let us book out. foolZ. many books like tuesdays, pdl and tob advocate a certain way to live life, and teach us to aspire towards a certain peak in personality. yet all personality profile systems (mbti, big five, enneagram are e ones i know only, altho i suspect they are quite significant in this area) argue for the equal value in each of the different character types. i mean there is the 'healthy' side and the 'unhealthy' side of each type, but the core values of each type is different, and this difference is simply to be understood and accepted, rather than judged.
such a huge contradiction in paradigms.
haiz... today i received an sms saying that sunday book in 5 pm, in stark sardonic contradiction to my expectation of last ferry (and hopes of monday morning... which is obviously wishful thinking now -.-). and somehow, even with thoughts of shang suffering in taiwan, ben still having a trainee life, me having just had a wonderfully long lull, not having outfields any more and a hell lot more of admin time and freedom in camp, i still cannot fight off the flood of frustration, anger and despondency. became so snappy, irascible and heavy during dinner... despite knowing all this, i still can't control it! whyyyyyy. this high level of neuroticism. AND ITS JUST 4 HOURS EARLIER zomg. inability to deal with unexpected changes... no. inability to cope when reality shatters my rosy delusion. but trulyyyy... happiness = reality/expections =( ugh this is. inferior puppet strings. intend to read thru e enneagram report again... maybe have insights about this. but must be aware also of e dangers in relying too much on that report. cannot become defined by it. laughZ but i am fulfilling it by wat i just said... e need for indivuality~
ok la feel a little better now... more accepting of e circumstances. luckily i ran almost all my errands already. had AYD today (sat). would have liked to go again... experience once again that scene... quote from 8/7/2007:
"a voice started softly singing; soon everyone joined in, adding their voices in worship, praise and thanks. a capella, without lyrics; everyone sang together a song they knew by heart. different people from different places who have never met before, coming together, singing together, in unison. there's something so wonderful in that universality."
i intensely hope that they experienced what i did that day... that epiphanic moment of tranquility and unity. adoration.